This Is What I Think

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"I’m on a journey that most will never take, I’m gonna learn things that most will never know, and that will require me to fail a lot, and look dumb at certain times, but who I am is bigger than my need to protect my ego, and at the end of the day I get stronger and farther down the path for doing things that most will never do, and your on that same path as well"



Krapps Last Tape

I’ll tell you about a play that affected me. Its a play by Samuel Becket, an Irish playwright who wrote the famous Waiting for Godot. He was a very surrealistic writer. But the play that im referring to, called ‘Krapps Last tape’, is a one act, one man play consisting of a 69 year old man, named Krapp, who walks out on stage scowling and mean spirited.

Krapp owns tape recordings of himself from the past years, talking about his aspirations, resolutions, views and opinions. He rummages through his pile of tapes to find one in particular. He listens back on a recording on his 39th birthday. Most of the play consists of him reviewing this tape.

The 39 year old talks about all the things that has happened the past year and continues on to talk about listening back on tapes that he recorded in his 20s, listening to himself speak about what he did during his young years and what he hopes to do in the future. 39 year old Krapp laughs distastefully talking about his younger self, at his aspirations, foolishness and naivety, and present day 69 year old Krapp laughs along with the recording, not believing he ever used to be so idiotic.

The tape moves on and the 39 year old starts talking about his own views and hopes for the future. Present day Krapp sneers in disgust at the recording and slams down on the fast forward button then presses play. The 39 year old persists in his narrative of aspirations and resolutions . He smacks the fast forward button again, unable to bare his younger selfs moronic ideology. He presses play and the tape comes near to the end, and on the tape he begins to mention a moment that Krapp lived. He is with a girl, laying down in a rowing boat across the boards, the boat had drifted into the shrubs on the river edge. If you’ll allow me to paraphrase the narrative went -“We lay there, my head on her breast and my hand across her, perfectly still, and everything moved below us and moved us, as we rocked up and down and side to side “

69 year old Krapp, still and silent, stops the tape, rewinds it, and plays is again and listens.

He rewinds it again, and listens.

This is where the play ends. What I derived from “Krapps last tape”: That even though all our plans, and hopes and relationships can change drastically as we get older, and can be corrupted and torn down by the world to be replaced by pain and a thick skin. Moments like that, are universally related to by all people of different generations, ages, cultures and philosophies, regardless of views and differences. Moments of intimacy and love such as that, that moment, is incorruptible. Live towards moments like that.

Fill your life with them.

"A book is made from a tree. It is an assemblage of flat, flexible parts (still called “leaves”) imprinted with dark pigmented squiggles. One glance at it and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, the author is speaking, clearly and silently, inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time, proof that humans can work magic."

- Carl Sagan (via cricketmenace)

(Source: riskpig, via hausisse)

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage."

- Anaïs Nin (via timedoesnotexisthere)

(via hausisse)

"The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open."

- Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters (via considerthishippie)

(via hausisse)

Topic of Music

I love all music, especially today’s music. There’s so much rivalry and bitterness between genres and eras these days people have sort of become sidetracked from the point of it. This is on music.

The reason I love old rock and roll and blues so much is that in terms of explaining the human experience their perhaps the most confessional musicians in the world, bands and musicians such as Fleetwood Mac, Robert Johnson, Van Morrison, The Doors, these are people that lay out their whole feelings, emotions, secrets and life on the table for everybody to see, for strangers to see, when most of us have trouble opening up to even our own families and the people closest to us. For this I consider them the strongest product of human growth and strength.

The weaknesses in old music such as blues is not the reason not to listen to it I say, but to listen to it. Rather than today where all music is perfected for the sake of perfection.

Where old music was about confession, today’s music is about idealism and perfectionism so that the results yield more money in the pocket, and not to arouse emotion, thought and opinion in people.

But I’m not saying idealism/perfectionism are a bad thing or that there’s no confessional music left around, some of the most open, opinionated music I’ve ever heard can be found in today’s music through the likes of Eminem, The Roots, Tupac and others in different genres. These are people that have something to say, that have a message.

What I’m trying to say really is that old music was about just getting the message across no matter about its shortcomings, it’s imperfections are its perfection. Today’s music is about trying to get it across without any fault, and sometimes the message is sacrificed for the sake of that. That’s why I think theres such a bitterness going around in relation to where music is heading for a lot of people. The heart and art and soul is leaving and has been invaded by money, materialism, business and sycophants. The greedy side has infiltrated what was all about truth, honesty, emotion and the telling of these things, where everybody related and listened. But greed and business has entered the mix and has made it all about ego, coolness and the money factor.

The artist used to get hired or signed for his message, now they get signed because of their money value to a label or their sex appeal, and it is heading more and more in that direction as the years go by.

The point is, is there isn’t as much honest music around anymore and people need to stop arguing about what’s better and enjoy what good music that we have left.